In short, no. Not all couples therapists are the same.
It can be a tricky minefield out there trying to find the right fit for you and your partner when navigating the world of couples therapists.
You have finally convinced your partner to attend therapy to work on some relationship challenges. Finding someone who can give your relationship the best chance of future success and satisfaction is so important. It is not something you want to just leave up to chance. With a little digging and asking the right questions, we hope to guide you through some clinical considerations in choosing the best fit for you and your partner.
Couples therapists, marriage counsellors, couples counsellors, relationship therapists, couples psychotherapists, marital therapists and all other grammatical versions of these terms are often used interchangeably when you are on the search for professional relationship help.
Couples therapy focuses on helping couples address conflict, improve communication, and strengthen their relationship. It provides a structured environment where couples can explore their challenges with the guidance of a trained therapist. This process often involves learning new strategies and gaining insights into each other's perspectives to foster healthier interactions and resolve conflicts constructively.
A couples therapist is ideally trained and experienced to function as an impartial facilitator in helping couples resolve conflicts, learn new skills and improve their relationships. They use various therapeutic techniques and interventions to aid couples in developing effective communication and problem-solving skills.
Couples Therapy is a popular choice when a partnership is experiencing:
Challenges with communication
Ongoing conflict
Difficulty with trust
Life transitions
Family disagreements
Differing life directions
Contemplating a separation
Intimacy Loss
Infidelity
The goals of Couples Therapy are often (but not limited to):
Improved communication skills
Reinvigorated commitment
Conflict resolution
Emotional co-regulation
Improved meaningful intimacy
Mutual problem-solving
Enhanced self-awareness
Rebuilding trust
Differences Between Psychologists and Counsellors
The Australian Psychological Society (APS) defines a psychologist as “A professional trained in the science of how people think, feel, behave and learn”.
NSW Health Direct defines a counsellor as “a person you talk to so they can help you overcome difficulties in your life and make the changes you want to make”.
One of the key differences between a Counsellor and a Psychologist is that in Australia, the term Psychologist, is a protected title whilst Counsellor is not. This simply means that there is no law in Australia that requires a person who provides a counselling service to have either qualifications or experience. Legally, a person without training or proven skills can call themselves counsellors, therapists or psychotherapists.
Our Psychologists at MMPP have all worked with many truly skillful, talented and incredible Counsellors throughout our careers and love working in multidisciplinary teams and environments for this reason. We do encourage all clients to check and ensure that your potential counsellor, therapist or psychotherapist has obtained suitable qualifications and training accreditations before you commence therapy.
Differences in Experience and Specialised Training
In healthcare, ‘scope of practice’ refers to the areas in which a therapist specialises in. It considers the therapists’ knowledge, skills, training and experience needed for the provision of effective therapy and counseling services to clients. Whilst a Psychologist or Counsellor may have excellent skills treating depression, anxiety or communication skills in individual therapy, this skill does not necessarily transfer easily to couples counselling. Essentially, depending on the therapist, the differences between individual therapists and couples’ therapists can be profound. You would not go to an Optometrist if your knee was hurting!
When searching for a potential Couples Therapist, look for a specialised person who frequently works with couples and is not an individual therapist who ‘can see couples if they have availability’. The needs of couples’ therapy are very specialised and the skills are not general Psychology or Counseling ones.
It is recommended that you seek someone who can show training in ‘couples specific’ therapies such as EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy), Gottman Method Couples Therapy, CBCT (Cognitive Behavioural Couples Therapy) or BCT (Behavioural Couples Therapy). An experienced couple’s therapist will also be able to provide helpful resources and referrals for extra support and can recommend options like relevant workshops, support groups, or individual therapy if needed.
Use of Research Backed Relationship Therapies such as
Gottman Method Couples Therapy (see The Empirical Basis for Gottman Method Couples Therapy for more information)
Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (see A Review of the Research in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples - PubMed (nih.gov) for more information)
Finding the right fit for your relationship means enquiring about a therapist’s qualifications and training, confirming they are a specialised couples counsellor (in our opinion, not just an individual therapist who occasionally sees couples) and ensuring that their personality and style suit you both. The foundations of a healthy relationship are also essential in your therapist-client relationship ensuring you feel respected and heard as well as noticing impartiality and feeling a sense of trust in the therapist’s knowledge and treatment approach. These factors help to ensure you receive the high-quality treatment and care that your relationship deserves.
By Carlie Kowald
