EFT Explained

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly effective therapeutic approach that assists couples and individuals navigate through relationship challenges. By following the principles and techniques of EFT, relationship therapists can guide you and your partner towards developing more meaningful, satisfying and rewarding connections together.

Understanding Emotionally Focused Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy has been found to be effective in addressing a range of relationship issues, including communication problems, intimacy concerns, infidelity, and unresolved conflicts. It helps couples develop stronger emotional bonds, increase trust and intimacy, and improve overall relationship satisfaction.

Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and allows couples to review their unique emotional dynamics, foster safe communication, and develop stronger connections. By recognising and addressing the underlying emotions and attachment requirements that impact relationship patterns, individuals can overcome obstacles to intimacy and create more secure and fulfilling relationships.

The Goals of EFT

• Emotional awareness

• Healing attachment wounds

• Identify and challenge unhelpful thoughts

• Trauma processing

• Emotion regulation

How EFT is Applied Within Relationship Counselling

EFT provides a structure for therapists to teach you a series of essential relationship skills:

Reflection: Empathy building skills

Validation: Acknowledging a partner’s emotions and experiences

Re-enactment: Practice EFT skills in session with therapist

Reframing: Form new meaning based on new understanding

By following the principles and techniques of EFT, your relationship therapist will improve emotional connection and build trust and intimacy. The strength of EFT work means that besides reducing conflict, it can also improve your overall relationship satisfaction and therefore longevity.

The Benefits of EFT in Relationships

In summary, EFT offers clear benefits that boost the bond between romantic partners:

• Strengthening the Bond

• Building Secure Attachment

• Resolving Conflict and Repairing Hurt

• Promoting Relationship Satisfaction and Longevity

What to Expect in EFT Sessions

During the initial session of EFT you will feel in safe hands as your therapist will create a safe and non-judgmental space for open communication. They will help guide you both to explore emotions, identify your negative relationship patterns, and understand the underlying attachment need for each of you.

The EFT therapist will help you acknowledge and identify the destructive cycles that may be causing harm to your relationship. Through EFT specific skills and methods, the therapist will assist and guide you to create secure and satisfying connections with your partner.

Taking the First Step Towards a Better Relationship

Even just the thought of seeing a relationship therapist is a daunting decision for some people. Taking the first small step is often the hardest one, but it could be the best decision for a happier more fulfilling future for you individually, as well as your relationship.

Of course change takes some time and effort, but with an EFT therapist in your corner, it can be far easier than you’d ever imagined to feel more connected, appreciated, seen and heard in your relationship.  

By Carlie Kowald

Sources

Johnson, S. (2008). Emotionally focused couple therapy. In A. S. Gurman (Ed.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (pp. 107–137). Guilford Press.

Emotionally Focused Therapy: 17 Tools for Your EFT Sessions (positivepsychology.com)

Book recommendation:

Hold Me Tight presents Emotionally-Focused Therapy in a nonclinical way that the general public can access. Hold Me Tight: Dr. Sue Johnson, Sandra Burr: 9781491513811: Amazon.com: Books (No affiliation)